How I Overcame My Fear of Change
Learning is the sharing of perspective and experience (This is my own definition by the way).
When you learn, you do not lose or gain anything; however, you do expand your options for change and growth into new and broader possibilities.
Below I’ve listed 7 concrete actions you can take to add more actionable options into your personal and professional life
Fear of change is the fear of learning.
We fear learning because of the potential change in thinking and behavior that inherently comes along with it.
In the book, Immunity to Change by Kegan and Lahey, the authors summarize that our minds distort new information and this distortion keeps us from learning and changing our behavior.
When it comes to learning new material like CompTIA Security+, parenting, calculus, or behaviors needed to make a career change, cognitive dissonance is a bias that can obscure and even filter out the knowledge and information we need to make the change.
Cognitive bias is the feeling of discomfort you can experience when your subconscious beliefs are not in line with your conscious actions.
When in this state, people can reduce their dissonance in one of two ways:
- Changing their beliefs to be in line with the new information.
- Interpreting the new information in a way that justifies their original beliefs.
In many cases, we choose justification.
For example, you think of yourself as courageous, not at all a coward or someone afraid to take on challenges — but while in class, you’re easily distracted, don’t answer questions when asked, and you seldom participate in class activities.
In this case, you can either start thinking about yourself in a new way (as courageous and capable) or you can justify your behavior, maybe by saying the instructor is boring, the material is difficult to understand, or some other excuse to justify why you can not learn.
Our Fear of Learning
Learning is both active and passive. We learn consciously and unconsciously.
Think of the difference between hearing and listening.
Hearing is a function of the brain and the inner and outer ear. If you have all the necessary “equipment”, you can hear.
Listening is thoughtful, conscious attention, and active consideration of what you hear. Think of talking to a friend sitting across from you in a crowded restaurant. You consciously prioritize their words over the other conversations and sounds going on around you.
Similarly, unconscious learning is “learning without awareness, regardless of what sort of learning is being acquired” (Shanks and Stjohn, 1994).
Conscious (active) learning involves conscious awareness and attention (largely driven by emotion) to what we are hearing, seeing, feeling, tasting, touching, etc. Active learning is also usually accompanied by a thoughtful goal or outcome.
It’s your subconscious where you find the cause of your fear of learning. If you are tense, uneasy, tired, uncooperative, uncertain, scared, and full of excuses when you learn and try something new, it’s your subconscious pulling you back toward your comfort zone. Your subconscious does not want you to change. You, subconsciously, want to keep thinking and acting in a manner consistent with what you have done in the past.
It’s because of this that your conscious mind is a prisoner of your past success. It wants to be the over-protective parent that saves you from yourself, by convincing you to only do what has worked in the past. The conscious mind has NO ability to understand a future that can be different than your successful past — at least not when there is perceived real and immediate loss on the line.
There is much more to this, but this is enough to understand why you fear learning so you can do something about it.
New Comfort Zones
Something I tell my mentees in our first session is, having an open mind does not mean you have to change it.
Active or conscious learning doesn’t necessitate change. Rather, it provides us options to choose from:
- Do I continue working the same old way, and produce the same results?
- Do I want to change everything, and start fresh?
- Do I pick from what I learned to find a practice that suits my current situation and modifies my current results?
- Do I leave my thinking and actions the way they are?
Here are 7 concrete actions you can take to add more actionable options into your personal and professional life:
1. Talk about it
Say aloud exactly what you fear. For example, “If I learn and do more, people will expect more of me. This will mean more responsibility, more work and a change in my comfortable routines.” Then ask someone you trust to help you adjust your feelings about learning (e.g., mentor, someone you know who has made a noticeable change).
2. Create a mental movie
Visualize yourself in a situation where you have acquired new knowledge and skill, and you have successfully adapted to the new role you now occupy. Using Legos to create the scenes or drawing them is a great way to inspect the situation and,
3, 4, & 5. Imagine the worst then imagine the “most likely” by using real evidence
Your mind is desperately trying to have you play it safe by literally making up a worst-case scenario, so let it. Once you’ve imagined the worst case, ask your mind to look at the evidence of your life and give you the most-likely scenario using past situations when you learned something new and made a successful change.
6. Test your fear
Learn and practice something new today, then evaluate your feelings about the new situation (e.g., a new route to work, a new order to your morning routine, new questions to ask at work and at home, a new ingredient in your favorite meal).
7. Focus on the process
You cannot control the decisions that others make about giving you job offers, attention, or responsibilities. You can control the inputs and effort (process) you put into achieving your learning and performance goals. Focus on, “I provide thoughtful comments on 5 career-relevant LinkedIn posts every week” (process), or “I study cool things for 2 hours per week” (process) — instead of, “I want to pass a certification and get a cybersecurity job” (goal).
When you overcome your fear of learning, you open yourself to new and different ways of understanding yourself, others, and the world around you. You expand your professional and personal choices thereby adding more possibility and potential NEW comfort zones into your life.
What about you? What are you trying to achieve? How are you getting there? Can I help?
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